My soul is weary. I’m so tired of being heartbroken by what is happening around the world. I’m tired of being sad. I’m tired of being scared, and feeling guilty for being scared because it means I don’t trust God…right? Or is it ok to feel scared of all the horrible things that seem to be hitting closer and closer to home? I don’t know.
I just know that I feel increasingly out of control of everything, especially the safety of my family. Everything from people texting and driving to ISIS has me on high alert these days.
I don’t want to become suspicious of people. I want to have deep compassion and love them. I don’t want to be scared. I don’t want to question if everything that I believe is real or not. I want to have unshakeable faith that looks fear in the face and shouts, “This world is not my home! You can hurt my body, but you cannot have my soul!”
But I’ve got questions, and lately it’s been really hard to combat them.
And I’m weary. Oh so weary.
But then I look to my right, and I see a beautiful 8 foot Christmas tree with white and colored lights. We’ve always had white lights, but this year my oldest son wanted to add color. I’m glad. It was a good choice. It’s a happy tree. And it’s a tree that reminds me that it’s Christmas time. And Christmas means remembering my Savior.
My righteous King.
My King that rules with justice and compassion.
My King that promises that while we will experience pain, it will not last forever and one day the wrongs will all be made right. He sees what is happening, and He is hurt by it. But He is patient, and one day He will make it all right again.
My King that is strong and brave, and meek and humble.
My King who whispered my name 13 years ago, and called me to real life; who knows my name, and who loves me beyond measure.
My King who came, and who knew suffering, pain, and willingly endured the cross for me. For you. For ISIS combatants. For us all that we would be set free from the fear of death.
My King who conquered death once and for all in victory.
This season my weary soul rejoices at the thrill of hope found in King Jesus. He has come for us.
May this season strengthen us all to fix our eyes on Him; to run hard, and to love strong.
Merry Christmas, indeed.DoubtFaithFearGodISIStiredWeary